why is gay pride so gay?

On The Root, Cord Jefferson raised the commonly asked question: if lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people want to gain the acceptance of the heterosexual majority, why do they dress and behave in ways considered unacceptable, far-fetched, and hypersexual?  http://theroot.com/views/where-s-pride-pride-parades  This question holds considerable weight, whereas LGBT and queer people continue to fight the stereotypes of being consumed by sex, as well as more damaging stereotypes (e.g., pedophilia).  Jefferson makes allusions to the images of Black Civil Rights activists wearing suits and skirts, making clear their message that Blacks, just like any other race of people, are good, moral, upstanding people who deserve the same shot at success and happiness. 

What Jefferson probably doesn’t know is that gay activists have taken on that approach before – Homophile activists in the 1950s.  Recall the activists in front of the White House, dressing conservatively and “appropriately” for one’s biological sex.  Their successors challenged this assimilationist strategy, just as Black Panthers challenged what they saw as assimilationist strategies of Civil Rights activists.  What Gay Liberation and Queer Nation activists have in common with the Black Panthers is the realization that the system within which assimilationist activists work will never grant them full equality.  Although the contemporary LGBT movement is one that is largely assimilationist, seeking space and equality within the existing oppressive system, LGBT and queer culture as we know it finds strength in challenging heteronormative standards of sex, gender, sexuality, relationships, style, and entertainment.  One of the most notable challenges to heteronormativity is drag culture.  By challenging repressive expectations of gender and style, LGBT and queer people are challenging repressive expectations for relationships, sex, and sexuality.

Marriage equality is likely the biggest issue for LGBT and queer rights today.  I know a number of LGBT and queer people who have not taken part in the movement for marriage equality whereas they see it as misguided – such emphasis on obtaining access to an already oppressive and exclusive institution which will not yield greater equality for LGBT and queer people, nor affect other issues (e.g., sexism, racism, classism) that plague LGBT communities.  If it’s not obvious, I’m of this perspective as well.  While I’m closely following the marriage equality movement and a strong advocate for granting access to same-gender couples, I don’t see marriage as our top priority right now.  But, there is something to be said for the pride culture among LGBT and queer people with respect to marriage.  By playing with gender, in a sense, subverting traditional and conservative understandings of it, LGBT and queer people are loosening the restrictions on marriage.  For example, a different-gender couple in New York married: http://www.365gay.com/video/male-couple-snookers-nyc-into-officially-marrying-them/  However, because Kimbah Nelson is not officially considered female by the state, though she identifies as a transwoman, and Jason Stenson is male, the state revoked their marriage license, as it does not currently issue marriage licenses to same-gender couples.  If Nelson were to satisfactorily transition to be recognized as female by the state, the two could legally wed – though, they would still be challenging the traditional understanding of marriage as “one man and one woman.”

On the way to dropping me off at this summer’s DC Pride, my mother asked me the very question that Jefferson raises.  At first, I brushed her off, accusing her of being jealous that she didn’t feel comfortable enough with her gender and sexuality to participate in a gay pride parade.  But, when she pressed again, asking how LGBT and queer people expected to gain respect and acceptance while enjoying colorful, sexual celebrations, I told her that this is our “fuck you” to heteronormativity.  In order to gain full sexual liberation, LGBT and queer people must challenge the repressive heteronormative standards of sexuality.  What good does acceptance do us if we still have to play by the heterosexual majorities’ rules?  Is that true equality?  I don’t think so.  So, I say we need to continue to celebrate ourselves with as much color and as little clothing as possible.  Pride should be as gay and gender-bending as possible.  We can save the suit-and-tie and skirts drag for the courts and congress.