Growing up next to Pat Robertson's CBN/Regent University conglomeration was the framework for the conservative ideologies present in my hometown of Virginia Beach, Virginia. My brother went to the church led by George Sweet, a 1994 presidential nomination candidate. Interestingly, he was a disciple of Jerry Falwell and his follies.
My childhood curiousities regarding sexuality were tampered down with negativity and not replaced with information. That gave my inquiry a shameful tinge; until I went to college & pursued what was available to me (which wasn't much).
Through the women's studies program I kept having to introduce ideas foreign to many - feminist porn, sex positivity, gender variances and I happily was labeled "The Porn Girl".
There could be many wrong things to be labeled.
Fast forward to the Institute where my base knowledge regarding sexuality was shared by so many. Gender fluidity was common knowledge. In fact, the expanse of research and knowledge is so thrilling and my brain is soaking it all in. I see realization of my goals to not only learn but to network and discover what direction the winds will blow once I graduate next year.
Of additional thrill is the variety of experiences I've shared outside of the walls of SF State.
To walk in the trans march left me very veklempt. I kept thinking of my trans community back "home" where there is a lack of public space for trans people to be. In public there are frequent comments and jeers for any identity outside of the hetero-norm. Even allies are subject to ridiculous questioning and assumptions (ie-lesbian identity becomes labeled bi-sexual or confusing when dating trans-male). I am in awe of a city who would welcome a trans-identity with open arms & block off streets for a march to happen.
Awe-inspiring was Lynnee Breedlove's performance earlier this week. I have been trying to find a venue to bring his performance to Virginia but to no avail. After seeing his peformance I realize he would have broken at least 10 laws in Virginia if he were to perform there. Or he would have had to tamper down his performance which would have taken away the beauty of it. To merge comedy, sex positivity, & trans love and honor an activist couple whose work spanned 50+ years - all while sharing a tree peeing bonding experience was beautiful in so many ways.
My mind is constantly being opened, shaped and turned over in these various ideas of sexuality. I am in awe constantly of the beauty in sexuality that is not relinquished to a dark corner. The openess and frankness is something I knew existed somewhere and I feel at home to not fight the restrictions so rampant in the world. I know now that whatever direction the winds take me, the knowledge of this shared view on sexuality gives me the strength to open the eyes of those that would shame it.
