smells like teen spirit

The election is over and I’ve been thinking a lot about something that happened back during the primaries.  I’m sure you will all remember it.  This relatively unknown governor of Alaska was thrust into the limelight as the vice presidential nominee for the Republican Party.  Remember that?  You might also remember that shortly after she accepted the nomination (I think it may have been at least a couple of days) it was revealed that her oldest daughter, who just happened to be seventeen, was pregnant, was going to keep the baby, and was going to marry the father.  Do you remember that part? 

Things got a little crazy at this point.  Some people started calling this Alaskan governor and her family, as well as the rest of the RNC, hypocrites due to their undying support for “sex education” that espouses refraining from ANY sexual activity prior to marriage and frowns upon teaching young people about methods of birth control.  Meanwhile, the republicans started shouting back about how supporting this young couple during this time was the Christian thing to do. Then, the liberals called the conservatives bigots for supporting their own while judging others for doing the same (although, one could argue that the conservatives would actually reach out to and support any young woman who decided not to have an abortion, at least up through her giving birth.)  I’ll admit that I was right there with them, caught up in the excitement of the moment and wanting to make the other camp look bad.  (BTW, if you haven’t seen Citizen Ruth, I suggest doing so now.  You’ll understand.)

Then I read an article by Margaret Talbot in The New Yorker that really made me think about this whole thing, and I haven’t quite been able to leave it, yet.  In an admittedly over simplification on my part, Ms. Talbot points out that although the religious right considers it wrong to have sex before marriage, they consider it a worse thing to have an abortion.  While, on the other side, the progressives don’t have a problem with premarital sex, we think that having a baby at seventeen is generally a horrible thing to do – we value waiting to have children at least until after graduating from college and preferably not until achieving a successful career and financial stability.  Oh my!  Too. Many. Thoughts. To. Process.

Not only are both arguments classist, sexist, racist, and on and on and on, but they are unrealistic, self-righteous, and do very little to promote sexual literacy.  For awhile now, I’ve been very concerned about sex ed programs that make an unwanted pregnancy or getting an STD the absolute worst thing that can happen to a person – whether they are ab-only programs or “comprehensive” programs.  Sometimes, shit happens.  Sometimes, shit happens on purpose.  As a caring, loving person who believes in promoting sexual health, happiness, well being, responsible citizenship, and all those things, I strongly feel that it is never okay to make someone feel stigmatized, alienated, or otherwise bad when it comes to sexual decision-making (as long as it’s consensual, of course).  So, as I think about how we redefine sexuality and sexuality education, I am making it a goal to think of ways that help individuals, couples, families, and communities make responsible, healthy decisions that are right for their situations and try my best to not pass judgment on others (I can’t promise I won’t say some nasty stuff to and about those who make others feel bad for their experiences!). Just remember that we are all in this together and need one another to survive whether we like it or not.