Originally posted on RH Reality Check

By Heather Corinna

Maya asks:

It seems as if girls at my school are very experienced sexually. They all talk about hooking up, giving head, getting head, getting fingered, and all that sort of thing. I, having never even kissed a boy or had a boyfriend, feel a bit left behind. I wanted to know if most girls my age, 15 (like on average), have had sexual experience like this.

Heather replies:

Maya,

I think it's so important to try not to get hung up on the idea that what other people are doing (or not) sexually has any relevance to what we do or don't do. I completely get wanting to have some idea of where we're at with where others are at, but with something as personal and diverse as sexuality, it's a good idea not to put too much stock in the sex lives of others when it comes to our own sex lives and how we feel about them.

One thing anyone who works in the study of sexuality or sexual health knows is that self-reporting (what people anecdotally say to others about themselves, rather than what we can find out based on measurable things like pregnancy or STI rates) when it comes to sexuality is notoriously unreliable, especially between young people. So often,