Tyra Banks: "Gay for Pay"

Nobody hates doing this more than me, but I have to bring up a recent episode of the Tyra Banks show (sorry, I know).  This brilliant installment centered on what Tyra referred to as “Gay for Pay,” and featured numerous heterosexual men in heterosexual relationships (some married, some not) who worked in the gay porn industry, i.e., were “gay for pay.”  For what amounted to one very long hour, Tyra and her horrified audience went back and forth over whether the men were really straight, and calling them out as gay or bisexual. Their reasoning; no real straight man would ever engage in same sex behavior, or god forbid, allow themselves to be aroused by any form of homosexuality, under any circumstances.  What was especially infuriating was that if these had been heterosexually identified women up on stage, first off, there wouldn’t have been a show to begin with, and secondly, I doubt people would have questioned their sexuality to the extent they did the men. 

Society may have come along way in terms of our sexual rights and freedoms, but in many ways, it is still as restrictive as ever. Particularly when it comes to male sexuality, the sexual barometer, if you will, upon which all sexualities are still measured and defined.  Examples of this outdated paradigm can be found by looking to one of the more recent permutations of sexual identities to hit the cultural landscape: heteroflexibility. Or for those in the academic know, sexual fluidity.  A heteroflexible individual is one who primarily identifies as straight, but has and occasionally acts on same sex desires.  You’ve quite possibly seen (poor) media depictions of heteroflexible women, but sexually fluid women exist in real life as well, and for the most part, their sexual attractions are not predetermined by male directors and target audiences.  But what you most probably haven’t seen are depictions of male heteroflexibles; such representations simply wouldn’t sit well with our patriarchal norms and standards.  It is one thing to see two young, attractive women make out (on screen or off,) their heterosexual-infused femininity accommodating straight male desire, and thus posing zero threat to it.  But it is quite another to see two young, attractive men making out, as boy-on-boy action hasn’t historically been positioned as a sought after - or even acceptable - sexual fantasy for straight women.  Hence the eews and gross-out faces on the Tyra show. 

The cultural stigma attached to male-male sexuality renders depictions of male heteroflexibility so frightening and threatening that they are literally unimaginable.   In this sad regard, homophobia is not only directed against actual gay people, it is also used against heterosexual men.  This is why it was quite literally impossible for Tyra and her audience to wrap their heads around the possibility that men are just as entitled as women to stake a claim in their own sexuality, and call it whatever they like.  Even if it isn’t Tyra’s version.