Photo: My friend, Ginger, expressing himself at Pride (photo by Tom Kern)
Well, make that my first FULL San Francisco Pride. Last year, I was in New Orleans for the annual meeting of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists up through Saturday night, but I was in town for the big Pride event at the Civic Center on Sunday. In 2009, however, I was able to be part of the full experience of Pride in San Francisco – what is really a week long (some would say month long) series of parties, rallies, marches, and parades. Quite frankly, it blew my mind.
Maybe it was the heat (85F - I’ve gotten soft since I left Texas) or maybe it was feeling worn out after months of being beaten down by the constant fighting against the right wing or the infighting among the different segments of the queer community or maybe it was the consistent feelings of disappointment we’ve experienced with the Obama Administration’s lack of action regarding LGBT civil rights that made everything feel so intense and real. Even my seasoned SF Pride friends said that something seemed different this year. Maybe despite the events of the last twelve months, we feel a sense of real hope that there is the real possibility of change – and not just regarding marriage, but about real change that would provide basic rights regarding anti-discrimination, immigration, healthcare, and HIV research and funding. Or at least we are feeling that enough is enough and that we are ready to stand up and demand our rights and the rights for all LGBT folks. I’m not sure.
One thing that I was sure of was that I felt proud of everyone who was there and participating. It made me consider some of the nasty articles I’ve read about Pride and the perceived “lack of pride” at Pride events; the writers, including several gay ones, who feel that it would be better for the “movement” if we were to mainstream Pride events and tone down the drag queens, leather/BDSM displays, half-naked and naked people, public displays of affection, etc., etc., etc. – a suggestion that I find to be repulsive and offensive. Why don’t we just require that everyone attend be “clean” and “well-spoken”, wear suits (or maybe polos and jeans), remain quiet and orderly, and don’t engage in any physical interactions other than hand-holding? On the contrary, what makes Pride (and the LGBT movement) such a beautiful and glorious event is that the participants, who come from a myriad of backgrounds, feel free to dress, act, and love however they want.
I think there is a critical misperception about what Pride is, or at least what I think Pride is. There is some political activism at Pride, and in some ways it is a political event. However, please don’t confuse Pride events with other types of protests and demonstrations, which are generally geared towards the outside world to make a political statement on an issue. I feel that Pride is not necessarily for outsiders, although you are welcome to join us and let your freak flag fly if you so desire. Pride is a celebration. Pride is an opportunity for us to be as free as we wish to be and to display ourselves and our love as we desire. For most of our lives, we’ve been told that we should try to fit in and not act or dress in certain ways – even though many of us did it anyway to diffuse the bully’s at school and in our neighborhoods. We take this time to reclaim those desires and the stereotypes, make them real and visible, and to spend a few days celebrating how beautiful we are. It’s also a time for us to take a break from our organizing, demonstrating, and protesting to come together as a larger community to love, dance, sing, and party.
So if you are one of those straight folks who think we’d be better off if we toned it down a bit (or worse, one of the self-loathing gays who thinks that way), I think you should book your airline tickets and hotel rooms for next June now. Think about that crazy outfit that you’ve always wanted to wear or that sexual fantasy that you are secretly hoping to fulfill and come on out. When you get here, don’t be surprised when you are embraced and made to feel welcome and don’t be surprised when you leave feeling just a little bit happier and little bit freer.
Be Proud!
