a demand for unprotected sex

A couple of weeks ago, I attended the Sex::Tech Conference sponsored by the Internet Sexuality Information Services (ISIS), Inc. that focuses on youth, sexuality, and technology; one of the more innovative and amazing conferences I've ever attended.  I've gone both years that this conference was convened and have learned more in a couple of days than I learn in most single months (sometimes longer) and have been consistently impressed with the incredible work being done around the country with youth, sexuality, and technology.  At the same time, there seemed to be a disconnect between the academic presentations, which were not nearly as cutting edge and exciting, and the more innovative and interesting technology and community presentations, which often lacked the  scientific evidence and theoretical framework to support the programs.  To me, this speaks of the greater need for  collaborations between academic institutions, community organizations, and technology companies, both large and startup.  Let's save this issue for a rainy day.

Today, I want to start a conversation about what I experienced in some of the more academic-focused presenations, mostly presentations of epidemiological data and behavioral research: an overarching theme of desperation and panic concerning the need to "save" certain communities and individuals from themselves.  Apparently, young people, people of color, and gay men (or the preferred behavior-based Men who have Sex with Men or MSM by researchers) are irresponsible, uniformed, out of control, and are engaging in life-threatening behaviors with complete disregard for their own health or the health of those around them by having gratuitous amounts of unprotected sex and multiple partners. I don't want anyone to think that I am in anyway being flippant or charging that it is perfectly okay for individuals to engage in dangerous activities; I believe these are concerns that can be addressed through well-designed, appropriate, and audience-relevant health promotion and social marketing campaigns. I am more concerned with the "researcher/educator as savior" attitude that focuses on a desire to protect the heathens and savages, who just don't know better, from their own sexuality and reckless behaviors. This attitude implies that the only motivation driving these behaviors is an uncontrollable (almost animal-like) lust, and it insinuates that these individuals may even purposefully put themselves at risk for disease and unwanted pregnancy. Let me provide a few concrete examples.

 Number one, in a presentation on youth and "sexual risk-taking" (a misnomer for putting oneself at risk for sexually transmitted infections - on the contrary, a great deal of sexual activity involves taking risks), a bunch of data on the negative outcomes of teen sexual activity was presented along with evidence that so-called comprehensive sex ed could delay sexual activity for up to eighteen months. Eighteen months! Woohoo! Then what? Are we okay with young people having unprotected sex after age 18 but not before?  (and yes, I know sex education also increases the likelihood of using condoms) But what about talking about healthy sexuality? Personally, I'm not all that concerned with getting teens to delay sexual behaviors, but I do want them to have consensual sex that reduces the risk of a disease or unwanted pregnancy but is also an enriching and pleasurable, personal and interpersonal growth experience.

Example number two, I attended a session of presentations about research in MSM and the internet; the topics ranged from online partner notification to online interactive sexual health interventions. (During this session, I turned to the woman next to me who happened to work for a state health department in the midwest and whispered, "I don't think these men really need to be saved". To which she responded, "You just don't know how invincible they all think they are". Wha?!?) The title of one presentation was "Hooking up online for Bareback Sex: Motivations and Risk Perceptions of Young Men who have Sex with Men (YMSM)." The presenter reported that they had not found any men who were going online seeking bareback sex, identified as "barebackers", or were part of any type of barebacking community.  Rather, they were going online to find sex, love, and romantic partners.  Ummm....why was this talk not titled "Hooking up online for Sex, Love, and Romance". I remember a time, not too long ago, when we discussed unprotected anal intercourse as a behavior not as a barebacking identity. Are there men who go online specifically to seek "bareback" sex? of course.  Are they the majority of men?  No. I believe that the term "bareback" is another way of portraying gay men (or MSM, fine!) as evil and irresponsible individuals  who enjoy engaging in "dirty", "disgusting", and "vile" behaviors (sometimes everyone does!).  I would rather see this discourse framed in a way that acknowledges that gay men go online to seek love, sex, and pleasure (and sometimes some DIRTY, KINKY SEX!) and at times engage in unprotected intercourse (just like straight people!) due to a number of factors. We can then develop health education programs and interventions that address those BEHAVIORS and underlying FACTORS rather than demonizing a large, heterogenuous group of people. 

Finally, the very last session I attended was a panel of women with disabilities discussing issues regarding sexuality and disability (including my colleague and friend, Bethany Stevens, who is doing some incredible and innovative work at Morehouse School of Medicine).  These women, a combination of activists, educators and researchers, comprised one of the only panels I saw where a large part of the conversation was about pleasure, desire, and happiness and were outspoken AGAINST policing people's sexuality.  I wish I had seen more of this throughout the conference...and in the field in general.  It's time to stop trying to protect and save hapless and helpless "victims" and move towards promoting responsibility, healthy sexuality, and happiness in all of our lives. 

For some news on policing sexuality, particulary concerning people with disabilities, read this post by Cory Silverberg at About.com.