NSRC: National Sexuality Resource Center

Bros Before Hos: College Fraternities and Sexual Exploitation 

In the late 1980s the Florida News Herald reported that a Florida State University student had been gang raped by some fraternity brothers. Allegedly, the attackers painted the Greek letters of their house on her thighs, symbolically claiming her as they had also claimed her through sexual assault.

In 2001 Dartmouth College's campus newspaper, The Dartmouth, published graphic excerpts from Zeta Psi’s weekly newsletters in which brothers described their sexual encounters:

“She’s baaaaackk. And she’s dirtier than ever[;] if young [female name] hooks up with one more Zete, I’m going to need a flow chart to keep up.”

“Commenting on [Brother B]’s chances for a highly-coveted spot in the Manwhore Hall of Shame, [Brother C] said, ‘Are you kidding me? Rancid snatch like that makes you a fucking lock.’”

“Next week: [Brother X]’s patented date rape techniques!”

These two examples—a gang rape fraught with symbolism and the misogynist publication describing sexual exploits—are clearly extreme, but both of them are the logical outcome of a culture of masculine supremacy and sexual exploitation that has made its home in some college fraternities since the 1920s. While most do not participate in such acts, there is ample evidence to show that many, if not most, fraternity members are expected to report on sex they have for the entertainment of their entire house. College fraternities—currently numbering three hundred fifty thousand undergraduate brothers with more than four million alumni—have become a haven for a masculinity that takes sexual conquest as one of its defining characteristics. Indeed, the social science literature of the past three decades has shown that fraternity men are more likely than their nonaffiliated classmates to rape women, and some studies have estimated that as many as 70 to 90 percent of reported campus gang rapes are committed by members of fraternities. This makes fraternities a dangerous place for the women who frequent their houses and attend their parties. In their sexist logic—and in their own words—“Brothers Over Babes” or “Bros Before Hos.”

But fraternities and the men who join them have not always behaved this way. So where did the culture of sexual exploitation and masculine bragging come from? Clearly, the men’s behavior is a product of time, place, and cultural circumstance, not simply an instance of “boys will be boys.” Nor is the behavior a natural outcome of all-male organizations, as even fraternities themselves have not always behaved this way.

Dating, 'Homosexuality,' and Frat Culture

In the early twentieth century two phenomena that we now take to be commonplace were invented. The first was dating and the second was homosexuality as a discrete identity category. Both have impacted fraternity culture. Dating arrived on college campuses in the 1920s. Fraternities, established a century earlier in the 1820s, and sororities, which had been founded on some college campuses by the 1870s, were the hubs of the collegiate dating scene. With rare exceptions fraternity men and sorority women dated each other in an exacting scale that was governed by each organization’s popularity. The reputations of the individual brothers and sisters and thus of their collective memberships were in part determined by whom they dated. Fraternity members were judged by their attractiveness, their charm, and by what they called “their line,” the verbal method they used to make themselves appealing to young women. Popularity—evaluated through dating women—came to define a properly enacted collegiate masculinity. And fraternity men themselves knew this; they picked new members based on the perceived expectation of potential brothers to attract women. As Dartmouth’s Zeta Psi boasted in 1924, “Brother ‘Stan’ Lonsdale has improved the already magnificent reputation he had attained in past years as Lothario and Don Juan put together, and as representative in the chapter in all women’s colleges within a radius of several hundred miles.”

This celebration of men’s attractiveness to women necessitated a concurrent demand that brothers themselves recognize what made a man attractive. They had to come to terms with themselves as men evaluating other men’s good looks.

In a world like that of the nineteenth century United States, where there was little recognition of a homosexual subculture and where most men could not conceive of a man whose sexual desires were centered exclusively on other men, this would not have been a problem. But by the 1920s fraternity men did not live in such a world. They still don’t. By the early twentieth century—thanks to sexologists, Oscar Wilde, Sigmund Freud (and his popularizers), as well the very people who identified with the label “homosexual” or “invert”—that some men were in fact attracted exclusively to other men was widely understood. It was also at this time that masculinity itself became yoked exclusively to heterosexuality in a decisive refutation of homosexuality.

Thus, at precisely the moment when fraternity men were becoming highly conscious of the characteristics that made males attractive to females, and were indeed evaluating their brothers based on these characteristics, they were simultaneously coming to terms with the possible meanings of these evaluations. They were also in the compromising position of being members of organizations that enrolled only single men, organizations that, through shared living, bathing, sleeping, and erotic hazing practices, fostered an atmosphere of camaraderie, intimacy, and loyalty that most found to be the fraternity’s biggest selling point.

They were caught between a rock and a hard place, even more so when some fraternities actually did turn out to be havens for homosexually inclined students, as my own research indicates, and as Dorothy Dunbar Bromley and Florence Haxton Britten found in their fascinating 1938 study, Youth and Sex. From the 1920s onwards fraternity men have responded to this dilemma with the enactment of particularly active dating and sexual lives designed to refute suspicions of homosexuality and to assert heterosexuality, and thus masculinity. These practices have only increased throughout the twentieth century, in part as a reaction to the intensified denigration of homosexuality at mid-century and as a result of the increasing sexual permissiveness of college women in the wake of the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

These were not conscious choices made by fraternity men, however. Rather, they were gradual changes over generations in response to cultural shifts like the advent of dating and the emergence of modern conceptions of homosexuality. It is also clear that these two phenomena are by no means exclusive to men in fraternities. That said, because fraternities remain organizations made up exclusively of single men, organizations that choose to haze their initiates in explicitly homoerotic ways and that foster an intimacy among men not common in society more generally, they compensate for what might be perceived by outsiders as either feminine or gay behavior by enacting a masculinity that takes aggressive heterosexuality as one of its constitutive elements. This often has adverse effects for the women with whom they interact.

Misogyny Rules when Sex Takes Center Stage

By the 1960s, as a result of the sexual revolution, college women were more willing to have sex before marriage. Fraternity men thus turned to them not just for dates but also for sex, rather than to the prostitutes and working-class women of earlier eras who had previously met their needs. In 1957 two sociologists found that fraternity members were particularly likely to have attempted to take advantage of their female dates, some using “menacing threats or coercive infliction of physical pain.” Fraternity men in one 1960s study, despite having more sex than their nonaffiliated peers, expressed the highest rates of dissatisfaction because, in the estimation of the sociologists, the pressure upon them to have sex was so much greater. Finally, in 1967 sociologist Eugene Kanin concluded: “Erotic achievement is now evaluated by taking into account the desirability of the sex object and the nature of its acquisition. A successful ‘snow job’ on an attractive but reluctant female who may be rendered into a relatively dependable sex outlet and socially desirable companion is considerably more enhancing than an encounter with a prostitute or a ‘one night stand’ with a ‘loose’ reputation.” Sex was being used explicitly to bolster a man’s reputation amongst his fraternity brothers.

By the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries, fraternity men had built upon some of these traditions and elaborated others as well. For example, fraternities foster an atmosphere where long-term intimate relationships with women are actually discouraged. As Allen DeSantis has shown in his recent book, Inside Greek U, many fraternity men perceive their brothers’ girlfriends as a threat both to the time that the brothers might spend with the fraternity as well as to their loyalty to the brotherhood. Casual sex is valued more highly because it can be chronicled in a way that many are unwilling to do when it comes to the sex they have with girlfriends. Regular reporting on each member’s “conquests” further cements the bonds of brotherhood. This emphasis upon casual sex is part of a bigger problem, however. Social scientists have demonstrated that it places pressure on men who are not otherwise having sex to do so in order to save face, and this can lead to sexual assault. In order to ensure that brothers always have a steady supply of sexual partners, fraternities throw regular parties, often replete with grain alcohol punch. The parties are designed to supply intoxicated women who will either consent—or succumb—to sex.

Two other practices are also worthy of note. Some fraternity men take pleasure either in watching their brothers have sex with women or in being watched as they do so. One brother interviewed by anthropologist Michael Moffatt for his book Coming of Age in New Jersey put it this way: “When my friends pick up chicks and bring them back to the fraternity house everyone else runs to the window to look at somebody else domineer a girl and I tell you what you almost get the same satisfaction. Some of the guys like to put on a show by doing grosser things each time. . . . Watching my friends have sex with other girls is almost as satisfying as doing it myself. . . . By the same token I enjoy conquering girls and having people watch.”

The view of women as objects of domination seems to preclude any understanding that women might be acting on their own desires. That they are exploiting these women—regardless of the women’s own feelings or desires—goes without saying for this brother. Indeed, he uses the verb “conquering” to describe what seems to be otherwise consensual sex. Finally, some brothers simply compete with each other to see who can have the most sexual encounters in a year. Like the infamous Spur Posse of 1990s Lakewood, California, these men keep a tally to determine who is the winner in a competition that has little with to do with the pleasure that may be gained from sexual acts themselves, and everything to do with bolstering one’s self-esteem and reputation through the perceived connections between masculinity and sexual exploitation. It is predicated on a double standard that sees women as lesser than men and as possessing something that must be coerced from them.

This version of sexually aggressive masculinity is not inevitable. The first generation of fraternity men would not have recognized it because they did not live in a world that denigrated their intimacy or encouraged them to prove their masculinity through sexual conquest, at least not to the degree that we see today. Of course not all fraternity men necessarily practice it, and just how many of them subscribe to this version of masculinity is impossible to calculate. That said, it should not surprise us that the structure and the historical context of the fraternity give rise to this phenomenon: an all-male organization intent on proving masculinity in a world where masculinity is seen as antithetical to intimacy amongst men, because that intimacy is too often understood to be “gay.” Until fraternity men learn to be more comfortable with the intimacy fostered through the bonds of brotherhood without demanding its concurrent disavowal through homophobia and the conquest of women, it seems unlikely that women will be much safer on college campuses with active Greek populations.

Nicholas L. Syrett is an assistant professor of history at the University of Northern Colorado where he teaches classes on women, gender, and sexuality in U.S. history. This article draws upon Dr. Syrett's new book, The Company He Keeps: A History of White College Fraternities, published in 2009  by the University of North Carolina Press.

 

Comments

Anonymous's picture

humanity's - not humanities.

humanity's - not humanities. Proofread, proofread, proofread, if you want your erudition to be taken at all seriously...

Anonymous's picture

http://www.kiva.org/lender/helen9428

Not so obvious, previous poster. Of a poll of my male friends, more than half (!) used prostitutes sometimes. The one I'd privately assessed as 'most straitlaced' said he used prostitutes 'most of the time', not wanting to 'inflict' his urges on 'nice' girls. A number had visited prostitutes with their partner to act out threesome fantasies. A fair few visited prostitutes so they could have sex without emotional ties after the break-up of a long-term relationship.

As you say, they all have issues. So do I. So do the men who hadn't visited prostitutes. So do you....

Anonymous's picture

To be fair, it is only a

To be fair, it is only a small percentage of males who use prostitutes.
Men who use prostitutes have issues to begin with. That much is obvious.

Anonymous's picture

Male Egos

I worked as an escort for about 15 years and it became abundantly clear to me that many if not most men pursue sex as a salve for their wounds. What wounds? Wounding which has been inflicted upon them by the previous generation of males. Wounding which says you are "a fag" or "a pussy" until the rage builds up and you have to find some way to prove you are not. Please don't fall back upon stereotypical assumptions about prostitution until you read this entire paragraph. Because my clients were good men. They were kind and generous and polite. But they engaged in sex with the same sad detachment most of the men at my university did (yes, I graduated from a four year university with a Bachelor of Science BEFORE I became a sex worker). I worked with most of my clients for years and I was able to take them from this numb state of being to some amazing emotive and even life-changing sexual experiences. I believe sex can heal. But you have to become vulnerable and you have to breath. Too many people hold their breath during sex. Breathe into sex and you will find the ancients were correct - sex IS a doorway to the divine. Taking men on this sacred sexual journey was an honor and privilege for which I was well compensated. And it is sad that so many men still see sex as some type of competitive sport. They only cheat themselves out of true pleasure and immeasurable bliss. Surely the person you share this with becomes sacred to you too. And most importantly, when sex is linked to your spirituality instead of being banished to what I call the "sex ghetto" then your self-esteem is raised and you can finally love yourself. That is a hell of a lot more satisfying that impressing your friends.

Anonymous's picture

To use a cute metaphor for a serious thing--

I can appreciate that there are situations where the temptation to do the wrong thing can be overwhelming. I absolutely agree that frat groupies who "pass themselves around" are taking a lot of risks and will likely suffer some judgement from others-- but if they do it voluntarily, that's their choice.

But I don't agree that raped women need to take responsibility for acting rape-able. The wrong thing is still the wrong thing. Even if a girl has had consensual sex with every Theta Chi brother on campus but one, those prior choices don't excuse or invite being raped by that last guy. Or any other guy.

Maybe frats should have seminars in self-control, like that dog training show where they had to teach the dog NOT to eat the cupcakes on the tray, even though the tray was right in front of his face. If dogs can be taught, I'm sure college students can't be far behind. Stare at the cupcakes all you want, imagine what the cupcakes would be like, even say rude things about the cupcakes' lewd behavior. But if the cupcake isn't for sale, don't stick your dick in that cupcake anyway and then say it was the cupcake's fault for looking so delicious.

Anonymous's picture

Public declarations

In YOUR lead off you misinterpret what Charles wrote and then you proceed to make assumptions/extrapolate increasingly exaggerated "declarations" based entirely on this misunderstanding. He did not say it is the Fla woman's fault she was raped. If I can, like you, put words into his mouth, what I believe he meant is that the woman's exploits were, in the past, exploitative in their own right. No one deserves rape, as you say, this is a truism, you are not presenting anything new or anything people could argue against. Obviously no one asks for it, but a certain amount of prudence is called for when presenting oneself and ones sexuality to the world. If a person, man or woman, makes it clear to everyone that he or she is out after one thing, that is the classification he or she will be given and others will react to her or him based on this interpretation. Therefore at least a modicum of responsibility for the rape is the woman's. Do you not agree with that? In an ideal world women would be able to wander totally wasted and entirely nude around a campus of 19-23 year old men and be unmolested, I agree with this entirely, and raping in any instance is totally wrong and should be punished, but to make oneself a frat groupie (and every fraternity that I have known has 1 or 2 women who seem to pass themselves around to whoever is available on a given night) is walking barefoot on glass.

Anonymous's picture

fraternity article

Both in my pre-fraternity freshman year, and in my sophomore year on fraternity life, I experienced many of the behaviors described in this article. Fortunately, none of them reached the nasty heights described here. However, there was plenty of detailed rehashing of sexual exploits, possibly as an antidote to dopey, adolescent homo-erotic activity (such as measuring and comparing our erect penises).

Anonymous's picture

Are we back to "She was asking for it" as an excuse for rape?

Let me see if I understand YOUR lead-off here. You wrote: "What about the base conduct of the female that, if we are to presume the missive alludes to a real person and actual exploits, seems to be engaged in her own pursuit of casual, hollow sexual gratification?"

It would seem that, in addition to your callous suggestion that the gang rape of the woman at Florida University (or any of the other rape victims alluded to in the article) is perhaps a myth, you'd like us to consider the possibility that she was asking for it, or bringing it upon herself.

Consensual sexual gratification comes in all varieties, some of them casual, or hollow, or both. But NOBODY "engages in her own pursuit of" rape. Nobody's "base conduct" excuses, invites, or condones sexual assault, not even when (ESPECIALLY not when) they're under the influence at your frat house. Sex is a private matter. But rape is a crime, and as such deserves (among other things) the public attention of the media and swift prosecution.

I would love to believe that Greek Life is a paradigm of humanistic collaboration, just like its T shirts say that it is. But if you truly want to "tend the flame" of that intellectual Greek light, you might avoid making public declarations excusing the criminal behavior (alleged or otherwise) of your Greek family, and especially excusing them by blaming their victims.

Be the change you wish to see in the fraternity system. Don't perpetuate it's sick cycles.

Anonymous's picture

fraternity article

This article is ludicrous. The lead off is puzzling, surely a newsletter discussing such private matters is lurid, but what about the base conduct of the female that, if we are to presume the missive alludes to a real person and actual exploits, seems to be engaged in her own pursuit of casual, hollow sexual gratification?

To the first commenter, I find it ridiculous that you feel so many organizations are genuflecting at the feet of such lofty ideals, craving a window on such higher thought. Give me a break. There are many, many organizations-- fraternities, sororities and probably mixed houses as well, that do have humanistic and idealistic goals as their fundamental purpose. And I'm not talking about superfluous, declaratory academic associations.

Is this article peer reviewed? Is the book? Its a bunch of unattributed allegations, unsubstantiated suppositions, and a reference from 1938. Some forward thinking organization needs to line up a solid debate between this pundit, and a real-life representative of modern day greek life. Those drawing nearer to 200 years of history, did not see some huge cultural shift to salaciousness, their foundations are ensconced in humanities higher objectives. No one need bring the light and intellect and insight, back to the source and those that have tended the flame for nearly two centuries.

Anonymous's picture

Getting IN the Houses

More and more experts and educators are working diligently to create POSITIVE changes in Greek Communities where such behaviors exist. Often Greek Life Men are offended by the behaviors described in this article and take initiative by saying, "We need your program on our campus. Please come present to us." They see the danger and WANT to do the right thing.

The next step is for the national offices of fraternities to create a special "Brotherhood" of males working to end this negative behavior and culture. Make belonging to this educational group an honor for all involved.

We are always happy to see hundreds of Greek Life members signing the "Pledge 4 Action" at http://www.Pledge4Action.org

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