Dialogues Issues - Sex and Race
Beyond Equality Marches! Notes from a Brown, Queer Immigrant.
Love Knows No Color, And Neither Should Justice
Now 42 years ago, the United States Supreme Court struck down any remaining anti-miscegenation laws in the case Loving vs. Virginia, Mildred and Richard Loving’s challenge to the state of Virginia’s ban on the marriage between people of different races. But, a recent Justice of the Peace’s denial of a Louisiana couple’s application for a marriage license indicates that the debates over interracial marriage are hardly over.
Anti-Miscegenation In Louisiana in 2009Keith Bardwell, a Louisiana justice of the peace, denied Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay, an interracial couple, a marriage license citing concerns for their children. The couple does not currently have children, so the justice is operating under the assumption that, once married, the couple would seek to have children, presumably through conception rather than adoption. This heteronormative assumption, that is that heterosexual sex is a superior form of sexuality and should be limited to the confines of marriage and for the purpose of reproduction only, is not a new justification for banning interracial marriage. In fact, it has been the most oft cited reason for doing so, though opposition to such relationships is also driven by racist views that are not as explicitly stated. Fearing that his decision may be read as one fueled by racism, Bardwell noted that he has Black friends, “piles and piles” of them (what an odd expression to use to refer to Black people, one invoking nostalgia of the days of lynching and mass murder of Blacks) and has even let some use his bathroom. Under pressure by politicians to resign, he has stood by his position and declared that he refuses to resign.
The Problem With Anti-MiscegenationAs I’ve just hinted at, many note that they oppose the union of people of different races because of concern for the well-being of multiracial children. They’ll be confused, they’ll be teased, they won’t know who they are in this world. The most obvious problem with this logic is the assumption that children will ever factor into the equation. How do we know that Humphrey and McKay will want to have children? How do we know that, if they do, they won’t seek to adopt children, maybe white kids, or Black kids, or kids of some other race? What’s further troubling is the assumption that only married (interracial) couples are having kids. With estimates somewhere around 40% of children being born to unmarried mothers, it seems that it’s about time to loosen the link between marriage and family in our ideology, as that link has long been loosened in practice. If we remove parenting from the equation, will the uneasiness with interracial love and sex disappear? What about interracial same-sex couples? My sense is that the uneasiness would still be there due to the racist ideology that is so deeply entrenched in our society and values.
Anti-Miscegenation and ChildrenAccording to this judge, interracial couples tend to break up at a higher rate than intraracial couples. Unfortunately, some research on sexuality and relationships backs up this claim. But, with a concern for children, we might need to be alarmed by the skyrocketing divorce rate in general – one that is not unique to interracial couples. Though I admit that there is some truth to Bardwell’s otherwise misguided logic, I have to point out that we’re placing the solution of a societal problem in the individual. Just as we surgerically operate on newborn infants that do not fit into the rigid sex categories (i.e., male and female) instead of challenging society’s obsession with the female/male binary, we’d rather prevent interracial unions from existing or at least from reproducing than to address the racism that is endemic in our society. The reason that interracial (and inter-class and inter-education level) couples dissolve at a higher rate, at least according to the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey, is that one’s partners are not as well integrated in other critical components of one’s life, like friends and family. I have no doubt that this is due to parents’ and friends’ rejection of one’s partner that is different with respect to social class, race, and/or education level. (Just think of how many white parents are uncomfortable with their child’s relationship with a Black person, or Latino person, and, unfortunately, the reverse is sometimes true as well.) I also think about conflicts that arise around race in interracial couples that wouldn’t otherwise arise. A great example is the fight that the interracial couple in the film Something New have, in which Brian (played by Simon Baker) has trouble understanding everything that Kenya (played by Sanaa Lathan) goes through as a high-ranking Black woman in a mostly white and male accounting firm and even notes that he’s tired of talking about race and racism, something he has the privilege of turning off if he’s not interested in discussing it.
A Personal StoryI should note that this story comes as no surprise. When returning to New Orleans from a cruise to the Caribbean with my parents, we had to go through US Customs – the usual practice for US travelers who have left the country. We went through the entry process as a family, rather than as individuals, to speed up the process. The Customs agent who processed our entry was at first confused – “wait, you’re all together?” It was immediately evident that her confusion stemmed from her assumptions about families (that they’re all of the same race) and the differences in our skin color. It left us feeling angry and confused. What a pleasant welcome home. This assumption that families are all of the same race is not uncommon. It comes up almost every time I’m out with my parents at stores and one of us asked if we need help, though we’re already being helped. (I don’t get it. Why would a stranger stand so close to someone while they’re at the register checking out unless they’re actually with that person? Even if we’re not read as relatives, is it really that uncommon for friends to be of different races? Yes, actually.)
For two personal reasons, this disgusting story in Louisiana is of great interest. I’m the product of a lasting and loving interracial couple. I know who I am as a person who is simultaneously Black and white. I’m no less aware of the realities of race and racism because of my white ancestry (a concern sometimes noted for children who are white and of color, as seen in the film Losing Isaiah) and I’m not disconnected from my white ancestry because of my Black ancestry. Any dilemmas I have every faced around “who am I?” has been the result of narrow constructions of race (how many forms have I filled out as Black and white that only allowed me to pick one, and I assume Black given the “one drop” rule) and the racist ideology that mandates intraraciality for relationships and family. Secondly, as a biracial person, any and every relationship I will enter will be interracial, unless, of course, my partner is also Black and white. Though I have had some frustrating conversations with past partners, mostly white, I note again that this is due to racism of our country. They’re discomfort talking about race or any gaps in their knowledge about race, racism, and the histories and cultures of people of color is largely due to an education system driven by white supremacy and the invisibility of non-whites.
Are Interracial Couples Better than Intraracial Couples?Aside from my concerns for relationship quality for interracial couples, those that are largely the result of the system of racism and not individuals’ malicious intentions, I think that interracial couples offer some benefits that intraracial couples cannot. In my own case, and I’d say for our President, Barack Obama as well, being raised in a way that gives multiple view points and resources allows for viewing the world outside of a singular way. I find that I am comfortable interacting with Black people and white people by virtue of my upbringing. This has also translated into being comfortable interacting with most people different than myself, as I have not come from a world where everyone looks and thinks like me. I should note that I’m aware that it might be easier for me than other multiracial people because I am light-skinned, and thus sometimes read as white or some race or racial combination that is not as devalued as a Black racial identity. (That is, some may feel safer interacting with me because I’m not assumed to be Black.)
And, my personal bias is toward seeing marginalized forms of love triumph. I love the movie Something New. I love Saving Face, which features a Chinese lesbian couple that has to deal with the conflict between traditional Chinese culture and coming out. I love the Bubble, a film that addresses same-sex love across the Israeli and Palestinian conflict. It is beautiful to see love triumph over hatred. But, in these films, the realities of hatred, oppression, and prejudice are present, as they are in such couples in real life. I stand by the position that these are problems society needs to address, not for the couples themselves to solve.
A few shades lighter please!
In our graduate seminars, we talk a lot about race and color, including how whiteness is cherished and celebrated in and outside the United States.
These class discussions and other conversations with my fellow students and friends made me think about the various fairness products that are marketed and sold back home. (In no way am I trying to be the voice of my nation. These are just MY views on such 'beauty' products.)
Here's a fine example of what I'm talking about:
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI5WCNR81YM&feature=related]
So clearly, once you're beautiful (i.e. fair, white) you can achieve anything! Name, fame, money and power! You can realize your inner dreams and talents 'cos opportunities are endless!
So what happens if you're not fair? Well, basically then you're nobody! You're boring, unwanted and invisible. Your life sucks! (and not in a pleasurable way!)
Not only that, if cannot get married because of your dark complexion, all you need to do is use a cream! Look at this for instance:
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lN26TMwm6s&feature=related]
Use it for a couple of days and see the results! You'll impress your guy and his mother in no time! How gendered and how setreotypical is that!
Ummm, but wait, isn't skin color largely genetic? So the fairness creams/soaps/sprays just suck out all the melanin? That doesn't sound right! It probably just washes away dead skin cells, leaving it smoother and cleaner with a momentary glow. It cannot possibly change one’s life! Common!
It often worries me how whiteness and fairness has become a virtue among some social groups:
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-9tcXpW1DE&feature=related]
The message in the above video is clear - 'not so far people' are looked down upon by 'fairer' folks. The only way to shut them up is by 'becoming' like them, and if possible, a shade lighter! Intra-race racism? (I'm sure there's a better academic term for this.)
Corporates spend a lot of time and energy researching their target consumers. Of course there the question of what came first? The chicken or the egg? Was there always a need for creating fairness? Did the marketers study people's aspiration or did they create this market through such campaigns by feeding consumer's minds with bogus claims?
It amuses me that most brands selling such fairness products are not domestic. Nivea, Garnier, J&J and many others have spent millions of $$ conducting R&D on Eastern markets to come up with skin whitening merchandise.
Oh, and if you thought their target audience is just women, you're wrong! Men too have been using fairness products. As the following clips suggests, men can finally 'come out' as they now have their own personal line of fairness products. Of course, men's fairness creams are packaged in blue, grey and black as opposed to pink in case of women :)
[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgBevCTBTJw&feature=related]
It's completely macho to make yourself go a few shades lighter 'cos now, women will run after you!
Injury Stories: Health Care Access and Gender, Race, and Sexuality
(Originally posted on wiqaable.com)
One of the few things I can't handle is people's injury stories. People talk about their injuries and scars as if they would make them more brave or honorable or whatever, but frankly, I think it's disrespectful to talk about painful stories in front of a person who just can't handle it. Is it about masculinity? Do you need to talk about your scars to prove how "dangerous" or "strong" you are? Well, I don't care. So next time you see me, please don't talk about breaking your bones.
This is because I've never had any big injury since I was born. I've never broken my bones, I've never gotten into car accidents, and I've never fallen down the stairs. I've been so fortunate that I don't know how painful it would be to get your bones broken, and I would imagine the most extreme pain possible right before I pass out. That's a painful imagination.
I've never been really sick either, except for occasional skin problems I always had growing up. I've never gotten a flu, I've never had food poisoning, and I've never been hospitalized. I'm not saying that I've always been healthy, but if health is determined, simplistically, by the absence of disease or injury, I've always enjoyed my health.
Perhaps this is part of the reason why I don't like going to a hospital. I'm so unfamiliar with that super clean and slightly sorrowful atmosphere inside the building. I also don't really trust Western medicine because my mother is an acupuncturist. In addition, what I've noticed recently is that sexist American culture associates the acts of being sick and weak, going to the hospital, getting taken care of, and even taking care of someone, with feminine quality. I'm part of it; I believe it's not only me who think somehow recovering from a cold without medical care is something to be proud of, therefore, masculine. Simply put, in American culture, healthy is masculine, sick (and weak) is feminine.
I believe that health means differently to different people. It may entail physical, mental, and emotional health, and it may refer to having a perfectly functioning body or being able to feel empowered and enjoy everyday life. And I think to some people, being healthy also means being able to compromise their health without being afraid of bankruptcy.
I was astounded when I learned that there was no universal health care in the United States. I really thought it was a wrong piece of information. I thought it was a joke. Indeed, it's a ridiculous story that makes nobody laugh but makes everyone angry. When I was in Japan, I had access to health care through my father's Employee's Heath Insurance, just like anyone else. When my father was unemployed, I had access to health care through local government-supported health insurance, just like anyone else. In Japan, I enjoyed being healthy, which I believed was a basic human right. But I guess it's considered a privilege in some countries like the United States of America.
I'm still baffled by this fact--the world's arguable superpower cannot even protect its own citizens (let alone immigrants). What do you do when you get sick and if you don't have health insurance? You don't go to a hospital and just wait for the body to win. What do you do when you're house is on fire? I don't think you wait for your house to be burned down; you call the fire department. What do you do when the environment is polluted and destroyed? I don't think you wait for the rain forests to clean the air, for the ocean to dissolve the pollutant, or the Earth to get cold again; you stop driving, you turn off lights, and you stop buying things. It's as natural as that.
You might be wondering why I'm writing about health care on wiqaable. The reason is simple, health care access is about gender, race and sexuality, as much as it is about class, and immigration status, and so on. And, believe it or not, it's about life and death.
A study reports that 45,000 uninsured people die early deaths every year in the United States. This particular article reports that Dr. Wilper says, “Although blacks and Hispanics are more likely to end up uninsured, racial differences in the percentages of deaths was not statistically significant.” This is clearly a confusing, if not misleading, statement. First, it is true that African Americans and Latin@s are less likely to have health insurance. Second, it is true that people of color are more likely to get injured or sick because they are more likely to work and live in dangerous and polluted environment. It's called environmental racism. If we think of why and how people get sick, as well as whether they're insured or not, health care access obviously has everything to do with race.
Similarly, the issue of health care access speaks directly to Queer communities. How many years did Reagan take to admit and publicly announce that AIDS was a serious epidemic? Many of us remember what it means to be denied access to health care, and, health itself. Imagine what percentage of sex workers, female, male, or trans, have health insurance. Imagine what percentage of undocumented immigrants, from Mexico, China, or the Philippines, have health insurance. And those are the people we live together. Those are the people who support our daily lives. Those are, in fact, us.
How many more years are you willing to wait for universal access to health care? Even without looking at other countries, I frankly think that the United States should be deeply ashamed of its failure to take care of its residents. With its twisted idea of glorified masculinity, I really hope the U.S. will not start boasting about enduring its diseases or bragging about its injuries, without realizing that they are actually deep and fatal.
Don't Serve, Don't Kill
What does it mean to have a gay Korean American man as today's best-known face of so-called "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" controversy?
In my narrow mind, rainbow flags don't match military camouflage patterns, and Korean blood doesn't mix well with American coca-cola. In front of my face, in a picture, Dan Choi (pronounced like che) wears a smile in a built body in front of a rainbow flag, out and proud and patriotic. I guess.
I have avoided talking, writing, or even thinking about him until now because I knew that if I had been to question him, I would have had to talk intensely to myself as an anti-militaristic Queer Korean man. Am I ready yet? Probably not. But I just couldn't ignore my inner questioning self.
In case you haven't noticed, I believe that everyone should be discouraged to join military, whether Queer or not-yet-Queer-minded. I also believe that everyone should be encouraged to develop critical thinking and anti-oppression ideology. If one is to call "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy oppressive, one shall also point out the oppressive nature of militarism. Therefore, my brain refuses to accept any ideas but "Don't Serve, Don't Kill." And of course, I'm particularly against U.S. (and Japanese) military because of its past and ongoing wrongdoings in various world regions like East Asia, Pacific, and Southwestern Asia (aka Middle East). If people were to understand Corean/Korean history somewhat like I do (and some Zainichi experiences might be a good spice), I believe that they would all be anti-military, be it Japanese, U.S., or whatever.
When people ask Choi why he joined, he says that he wanted to serve something greater than himself. And I think that's quite a twisted way of thinking.
Choi's mother, a Korean war orphan, opposed his joining. I can understand. His father, a hardcore Christian, has told him that in "Korea," a man wouldn't be treated as an adult no matter how old he is if he didn't serve in the military. Here, I take a deep sigh. Oh "Korea." After millions of us killed in decades of war and colonization, "Korea" still haunts the minds of so many Koreans, men in particular, on both sides of the "border" and elsewhere.
"Korea" often refers only to the southern part of the Korean peninsula, or the Republic of Korea; meanwhile, the northern part, or the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, is always called "North" Korea, as if there are two legitimately opposing nations and two different peoples. Many Korean Americans seem to identify with "South Korea" more than "North Korea." I know that many people still believe in one Korea/Corea, too; however, I have observed that so many of them still do not question the common assumptions about "North Korea," thus lazily aligning themselves with "South Korea" just because it's less demonized and more familiar. (This can be said to some Zainichi Koreans as well, to some extent.) After all these years, Koreans all over the world have gotten used to the division, and are having difficulties even imagining one Korea again. And some of us don't even know who divided us and why. The most critical part of our contemporary history is missing, sometimes entirely, from our knowledge. That's what really divides us.
Anyway, the tragedy, from my point of view, is that this Korean guy believed that serving in the U.S. military is about "serving something greater" than himself, and that having an oppressed identity neither stopped him from nor made him question doing that. Instead I ask: why has our country been divided? Why is it that men in "Korea" need to serve in the military in the first place? Why would it be so honorable to be trained by our enemy to kill our own people?
My discomfort also comes from this feeling that whenever he is hailed as the anti-Don't Ask, Don't Tell person, it makes me feel like the Korean War is being legitimatized and justified, even more so by some patriotic White American gays and lesbians who happen to be the main people working behind this "controversy" to make it a controversy, as if this is more important to all parts of diverse Queer communities than creating safe schools, securing equitable and sustainable health care, and so on. In other words, all the issues that are important to me seem to become invisible behind Choi's smile.
In addition, I can't help but think that he is being (or will be) tokenized. In the event that he is allowed to serve again, Choi will likely be seen as the token of "diversity acceptance" of the U.S. military. A gay Korean man, who would have been too "foreign" only a few years ago, serving the U.S. military publicly to signify both the tolerance of the U.S. and the patriotism of Queer and Korean/Asian American communities, without a real recognition of his people in the northern part.
Hyung, not that it's your fault, but I will be ashamed to near death on that day.



